What Is Emotional Regulation?
Emotional regulation is the ability to manage your feelings and behaviours in response to what is happening around you. It means being able to calm down after excitement, tolerate frustration without melting down, and return to a settled state after something upsetting. It is one of the most important skills a child can develop — and one of the hardest.
Children are not born knowing how to regulate. The brain’s regulatory systems develop throughout childhood and into early adulthood. What looks like bad behaviour is often a child who has not yet developed the tools to manage their own nervous system.
Why Occupational Therapists Work on Emotional Regulation
Many people associate occupational therapy with physical skills — fine motor, handwriting, balance. But regulation is central to OT work. A child who cannot regulate their emotions cannot learn, engage in play, or participate in daily routines effectively. Before any other skill can develop, the nervous system needs to feel safe and organised.
As a paediatric OT working in Malta, I see emotional regulation difficulties in children with sensory processing challenges, ADHD, autism, anxiety, and in many children with no formal diagnosis at all. The OT approach looks at what is driving the dysregulation — often sensory, often environmental — and addresses the root cause.
The Zones of Regulation
One of the most useful frameworks I use with children and families is the Zones of Regulation, developed by Leah Kuypers. It uses four colour-coded zones to describe emotional and physiological states.
The Four Zones
- Blue Zone: Low energy states — tired, sad, bored, sick. The body and mind feel slow.
- Green Zone: The ideal learning state — calm, happy, focused, ready to engage.
- Yellow Zone: Elevated alertness — excited, anxious, frustrated, silly. The child is still in control but needs support.
- Red Zone: Extreme states — furious, terrified, out of control. The child cannot access rational thinking in this state.
Teaching children to identify which zone they are in — without judgment — is the first step. We cannot expect a child to regulate if they cannot recognise their own state. Even four and five-year-olds can begin learning to identify their zones with the right support.
The Sensory Connection
Regulation and sensory processing are deeply connected. The nervous system receives sensory input constantly, and how that input is processed affects a child’s level of arousal. A child who is sensory seeking may appear hyperactive and impulsive — they are not misbehaving, they are trying to self-regulate through movement and stimulation. A child who is sensory avoiding may appear anxious or rigid — their nervous system is overwhelmed.
Understanding a child’s sensory profile helps us choose regulation strategies that work with the nervous system rather than against it.
Sensory Strategies for Emotional Regulation
These strategies work by changing the child’s level of arousal through the sensory system. Different inputs have different effects on the nervous system.
Calming Strategies (for Yellow and Red Zones)
- Heavy work: Activities that involve pushing, pulling, and carrying — wheelbarrow walking, carrying a backpack, pushing a full laundry basket. Heavy work activates the proprioceptive system and has a grounding, calming effect.
- Deep pressure: Firm hugs, weighted blankets, compression clothing, or lying under couch cushions. Many children find deep pressure deeply calming.
- Slow, rhythmic movement: Rocking on a rocking chair, gentle swinging, or lying in a hammock. Slow vestibular input has a calming effect on the nervous system.
- Oral input: Chewing, sucking through a straw, or sipping a cold drink. Oral motor activities have a self-regulating function and can quickly shift arousal levels.
- Slow breathing: Blowing a pinwheel, bubble blowing, or breathing exercises. Extending the exhale activates the parasympathetic nervous system.
Alerting Strategies (for Blue Zone)
- Fast movement — jumping, bouncing, star jumps
- Cold water on the face or cold drinks
- Bright lighting and upbeat music
- Crunchy or sour foods
- Novel activities or tasks
Building a Regulation Toolkit at Home
Every child’s toolkit will look different depending on their sensory profile and what works for them. I work with families across Malta to develop personalised toolkits. Here are some practical starting points.
Create a Calm-Down Corner
Designate a small, quiet space in your home where your child can go when they need to regulate. Include items from their toolkit — a soft cushion, a weighted lap pad, a fidget toy, bubbles for blowing. Crucially, this is not a punishment space. It is a tool, and the child should choose to go there.
Practise Before They Need It
Regulation strategies must be practised during calm moments to be accessible during dysregulation. Role-play using the calm-down corner when your child is already in their green zone. Make it fun, not clinical.
Co-Regulate First
Young children cannot regulate on their own — they need a regulated adult alongside them. Before teaching strategies, focus on your own calm presence. Get down to their level. Use a slow, warm voice. Your nervous system communicates directly with theirs through a process called co-regulation.
Name the Zone Without Judgement
When your child is escalating, try naming the zone: “I can see you’re in the yellow zone right now. What might help?” This language acknowledges the feeling without labelling the child as naughty or bad.
When to Seek OT Support
Consider an occupational therapy assessment if your child:
- Has meltdowns that are very frequent, intense, or long-lasting for their age
- Struggles to recover after emotional episodes
- Has difficulty identifying their own feelings
- Relies on unsafe behaviours to self-regulate (head banging, biting, running away)
- Cannot access learning or play because of regulation difficulties
Emotional regulation is a skill that can be taught and developed with the right support. In my work in Malta, I see children make remarkable progress when they are given the right tools and when families are supported to implement strategies consistently at home.
If you’re concerned about your child’s development, contact us at +356 99872936 or visit wonderkids.mt to book an assessment.